The Experiment
My husband Wade and my 10 year old have been exercising together for the past month. Wade wrote this post today about their experience:
About 1 month ago I noticed that my oldest son had stopped playing with one of his friends, so I asked him “why don’t you play with Fred anymore”.
“Cause sometimes he is mean to me” he reluctantly told me.
“How is he mean to you?”
“Some times he calls me names” His chin started to quiver and you could hear a crack in his voice that he saves for when he was on the verge of tears.
“What names does he call you?”
“He calls me unathletic.” He was almost in full blown tears.
Do you think you are unathletic?”
“Yes!” He said, And he began to sob.
I realized he was very fragile at the time and I thought I could go 2 ways; I could try to validate him and tell him he was athletic and try to build his self esteem through words, or I could try to help him realize you can choose to become what ever you want in life, and you can change, to a certain degree, anything you don’t like.
Do you want to become more athletic?” I asked
He stopped crying and said “Yes” Looking relieved.
We sat down at the table, and using some semblance of a scientific method, we took his problem and wrote it down. We developed a plan of doing a routine of Plyometrics, core exercises and some kick boxing 3 times per week and the other 3 days we spent playing a sport of his choice. We chose to rest on Sunday.
As our control to measure improvement we chose to run a set of ladders in the back yard and his maximum amount of push ups. His start time on ladders was 24.89 and he did 6 scraggly push ups. He then set goals to shave off 4 seconds on the ladder run and do 14 push ups and gave him self 1 month to affect the change.
During the execution of the plan we added push ups daily and occasional ladder practice runs. All the children participated in their own way and it became really fun as they all tried to best each others times in the ladder run.
After 1 month our reassess day was met with excitement as I think he realized he was stronger and faster than just a few weeks ago. As I wanted him to succeed I mowed the lawn to make the track faster and he put on his soccer cleats to help with traction on the grass.
He warmed up with Ketchup boy and flip flopper and they all dropped to do push-ups.
He pushed out 15 strong pushups and 5 more for good measure. We then went to the back yard and set up the ladder course. After 3 tries he bested his goal by more than ¾ of a second coming in at 20.02 seconds. He was beaming, smiling from ear to ear.
Posted: May 29th, 2009 under Exercise.
Tags: activities, athletic, exercise, ideas, kids, summer
Comments
Comment from Susan
Time May 29, 2009 at 8:04 am
What a great dad you are, Wade. Congratulations on being sensitive to Ketchup boy’s issues and not just telling him “to buck up and be a man.” It made all the difference in the world that you sat down with him, helped him make a plan, and helped him achieve his goals. Great stuff! We can all learn from it.
Comment from Dawn
Time May 29, 2009 at 8:32 am
I think that was an amazing parenting job! I would be the one to tell them they were GREAT and to stay away from the mean kid! I have learned so much reading your blog. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Comment from Paige Johnson
Time May 29, 2009 at 9:34 am
What a great posting! I hate that kids are so mean to each other sometimes, but what a great experience for your son to learn that he can become what he wants to become.
I’ve recently found the gumption to get moving myself, and though part of it is experienced by my kids only from the seat of the double stroller, it is fun to see that my toddler joins in whenever she can.
Comment from Margret H.
Time May 29, 2009 at 9:48 am
Wow, what terrific insight! I think you taught all of us a great lesson. Thanks.
Comment from Amy
Time May 29, 2009 at 10:51 am
I am OBSESSED with So you think you can dance!! My kids also try to dance after they see it. I laughed so hard that your little guy wanted a ticket to vegas! Hilarious.
Thanks for your comments. Wade is a great dad! He’s much better about teaching our kids important life lessons than I am.
Comment from Beth
Time May 29, 2009 at 12:53 pm
What great parenting! I love seeing parents help their children gain better self-esteem through REAL skill acquisition instead of pandering to them through empty compliments.
Self-worth comes from hard work and realizing through hard experiences that you are stronger than before.
Comment from cathy
Time May 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm
What a great thing to do with your child! We’re not having the same issues, but I think that I might adopt something similar for my son this summer. Great motivation!
Comment from Liz
Time May 29, 2009 at 9:08 pm
That is awesome! What a great example of goal setting and working toward that goal!
Comment from pamela
Time May 31, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Way to go, Cereal Boy!!!! (And, Wade!)
Comment from Jamie
Time May 29, 2009 at 6:02 am
Love, Love, Love IT! Congratulations to him!
My 4 year old likes to watch “So You Think You Can Dance”. When it’s over, he puts on a little show for me with some interesting moves and I have to be the judge. Of course, he wants me to say that he gets a ticket to Vegas. I think he gets a little sad when the dancers trying out don’t get that ticket. He’s definitely a sensitive little one.
I love how your husband handled the situation. I’m sure it made a huge difference to your son and the things he learned can be applied to many more of life’s challenges. Good Work!